Now if a woman says she "doesn't need a man to be complete" that's ok. But a man? Nah!
Please don't get me wrong, there are times where I'd like the company, i'd like to be hugged etc etc but I also like the idea of saying to myself "Pete stuff it lets go to to Norfolk" and do just what I want.
I appeciate I am a selfish bugger but I remember an ex-colleague describing his weekend and it was totally at his families beck and call. Relax? What was that?
Now I may meet someone but frankly I doubt it. I'm too much the confirmed bachelor, I've lived alone too long. My bad points are:
- I'm moody (sometimes drives me nuts since I wind myself up to push folk away), have too short a fuse (but equally I don't hold a grudge*)
- I am lazy.
- I am selfish.
- I shy away from confrontation.
- I'm also too self critical according to my boss.
I will leave it for friends to supply a list of my good points (Self critical I maybe but I do have some ;) ).
I ought to say I quite like living alone now. Being an only child helps but I do feel stifled when I am with people all the time. Its great to have friends stay from time to time.
And don't get me on children! I am very happy that you love the little things BUT please accept that I don't have any desire to be a father - thank you.
Oh all a bit personal but all I've done today is buy a pair of trousers !!
And finished Stephen King's The Gunslinger ***, the first book of the Dark Tower series. I found this turgid when I read it 17 years ago but I've decided I must read it all the way through now all 7 volumes are out. Its an interesting start and I'm looking forward to book 2 which will go with me on holiday next week. Very atmospheric, a cross between Stephen Donaldson and Charles De Lint.
There's a lot of King I haven't read indeed of his pre 1980 work I've only read The Stand ***** but he is a very underrated author.
* i could make an exception to this for two people i know
19 comments:
Oh honey, you just havnt met the right woman yet.....runs and hides before pete looses temper....:))
Are you pissed today, too!!!
Yes, you have friends - we'll all give you a hug next weekend!!!!!!
Don't get me on children either! Little buggers.
Hope you enjoy your trousers.
whoops edited post!! the friend line got left in by mistake when i moved the bit about leaving my good points to friends.
will wear trousers!!
sober actually. frightening
I know exactly what you mean, I'm 40, single and although I've never ruled out marriage or family, everyone else seems to be more hung up about it than I am.
In the meantime, yes I have become independant and quite self-centred but it's a great lifestyle!
who are the exceptions?
I relate to that ( although Needful Things was the only Stephen King I've read recently and it was rather good).
My mates have given up trying to pair me off, mainly 'cos I've already put most of them together with their own significant others (so they're too loved up to bother about anyone else - Attack is the best defense in my book), and have finally realised that I actually enjoy the freedom to do whatever I want, be it geology courses or bereavement counselling.
I'm quite looking forward to the day that local children run past my gate scared of bumping into the strange cat lady.
well you are kinf, generous, thoughtfull and a good listener!! you can put the cheque in the post! joking apart you are a good bloke don!t change
I am blushing!!
blushing again !!!
I'm pondering about that everyone seems to think you can't do what you feel like when you are in a relationship. In my book, if you can't feel free to do what you feel like you're in a bad relationship! The good ones are the ones where you're not some sort of slave?
Of course you have to take the other persons feeling into consideration so if you're going to be away for the night it migth be nice to call in and say so, but otherwise, what is it that you do that you wouldn't be able to in a relationship? And why couldn't you meet someone that works the same way?
I'm very young but I'm in a relationship, engaged and we're celebrating 4 years in december, I've never felt I'm not "free" in any way. I think it's got more to do with the view of how a relationship should be/usually is than anything else.
If you don't find someone you love then why bother to be with someone for security, that's bullshit.
And pete if you don't want children, who cares ;) Your business! I bet your parents must be nagging your ass off though. I mean me and my boyfriends families are already asking us when we're going to have children.
Give it a rest, I'm 17. (!) ?
I would on the other hand love to one day, but people are like butts, divided.
Hi Nathalie
ah 17 been trying to work it out!!
Actually my folks have given up on me ;) Seriously they'd like to meet someone but don't give me any grief.
Its people you haven't met for ages who always say "when are you getting married".
Oh sorry I didn't know I had a mystery age-cover, my page does say second year of upper-secondary so I just assumed people would figure it out :) Unless I got that all wrong, I'm not entierly sure.. we don't have the same system so I just figured out what the equivalent would be in England, didn't bother with the US cause I can't figure their system out.
LOL, given up.
Do you seriously do things you think you wouldn't be "free" to do in a relationship though?
well second year at secondary school to me would make you 12 or 13 !!!
well it's not so much free but you have more time to do your thing. In a relationship you have to do things that your partner wants to do that you don't and vice versa. You just can't say "I'm doing this regardless of what you want to do".
partners don't share all the same interests.
to a degree i accept i am a bit/lot selfish
17! Groan! I've become a haggard old cynic. I never thought that would happen to me when I was 17.
You're right, Pete. You have to go to awful work do's, there's always a couple of his mates you can't stand, and chances are,even more of their wives/ girlfriends, family etc. They might insist on buying crab sticks.
And they might not be too happy if you frequently phoned another male friend to meet for dinner after work too often.
I'm fiercely independent. I'm not sure if that's why I'm happily single, or because of it - chicken and egg situation.
PS. I'm a savoury, not a sweet person too, believe it or not ( and you'll not when you see the size of me on Saturday), and I'm not easily offended. But I think you'd enjoy a good portion of cherrypie, Pete. Oooher! x
Upper secondary school though, not just secondary. When I look it up it reads what would be the equivalent here anyway... Hm.
Wow.. then you have a totally different view of relationships than I do. I wouldn't do things I didn't want to do, well sometimes we watch a movie when I would have preffered an other one, and the next time we do it the other way around. Same with food, but I never do anything I really dislike. Oh well, I really can't see the issue, you must have the same things to deal with with friends? Or do you always prefer the same type of food, movies, stores? Partners never have totally the same interests, neither do friends, that would just be boring.
If nothing else you can force the other one to go buy you some crisps *looks innocent*. Hope you had a good monday!
I agree with both Pete and Nathalie to some degree. Sometimes you can't do things that you would if single, but, as Nathalie says, if you have a partner that stifles you, it's time to call it a day.
It may have been different if we'd had children, but as a child-free zone, we're free to come and go as we please, be that alone or together. And I never get the, "Is that Pete person texting you again?" malarky.
In a tolerant relationship you don't have to do things your partner wants to do, although when Keith says, "I'm having a vodka", I sort of have to go along with that!!
Oh, and CP, if you go to Padley on Saturday, we won't be there - it's Sunday!
um I think the child free sitch helps.
Nathalie - I was thinking hypothetically if you have a time consuming hobby that your patner doesn't share.
Movies i can take. For my friend min I sat through Spiceworld and titanic- LOL
But as I say i think it must be difficult if for instance you have a time consuming hobby like birding which your partner doesn't share.
'And I never get the, "Is that Pete person texting you again?" malarky.'
Curiously whilst waiting for the service the garage was playing the local radio station.
This couple had split up and she was complaining that he had women friends numbers on his phone and that this was unacceptable. Oddly it was ok for her to have male friends.
I suppose it comes back to the "When Harry Met Sally" syndrome.
Well I don't know, you can work around the weirdest things if you love each other, and everyone needs hobbies. Of course if you do nothing but your hobby maybe someone would feel a bit cast aside. But, I really think you would want to spend time with someone you love, specially in the beginning when it's all new and exciting, then as time goes on both will dedicate more time for hobbies and less for groping on the couch.
Tell me about the movies, I used to sit through asian fighting films...........
...
...
I don't anymore. And I have to watch desperate housewives alone -_-
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