Christmas Cake Recipe

As we've reached December I thought you might appreciate a recipe for a Christmas Cake.

Vodka and Red Bull Christmas Cake
Ingredients:
1 cup water
1 cup of brown sugar
1 tsp baking soda
1 cup of sugar
1 tsp salt
Lemon Juice
4 large eggs
Nuts
1 bottle of Vodka
1 can of Red Bull
2 cups dried fruit

Method:
1. Sample the vodka to check the quality
2. Take a large bowl, check the vodka again
3. To be sure it is of the highest quality, pour one level cup and mix with a little red bull and drink
4. Repeat
5. Turn on the electric mixer, beat one cup of butter in a large fluffy bowl
6. Add one teaspoon of sugar. Beat again
7. At this point it is best to make sure the vodka is still ok
8. Flavour with red bull to taste
9. Try another cup – just in case turn off the mixerer
10. Break two leggs and add to the bowl and chuck in the cup of dried fruit
11. Pick fruit off floor
12. Mix on the turner
13. If the dried fruit gets stuck in the beaterers, pry it loose with a drewscriver
14. Shample the vodka to check for tonsisticitity, flavour with a little Bed Rull
15. Next ssiffft two cups of salt. Or something – Who giveshz a shi**
16. Throw a pinch of Bed Rull over your shoulder
17. Pick up the can, mop the floor
18. Check the vodka
19. Now shift the lemon juice and strain your nuts
20. Add one table
21. Add a shpoon of shugar, or somefink. Whatever you can find
22. Turn the cake tin 360 degrees and try not to fall over…
23. Don’t forget to beat off the turner
24. Finally, throw the bowl through the window, finish the vodka and kick the dog
25. Fall into bed