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Thursday, January 10, 2008

and so

If these things can go well it went well.

Wednesday morning dragged. It's hard to believe time can drag so much. Still the rain abated and the sun shone.

Lots of family and friends turned up. The usual embarassment of me not recongising half of them and having to be introduced "I'm your cousin...", distant relatives who last saw me when I was ooh so high. At one point someone was walking towards us and Dad turned to me and said "who's that?". I had to smile as normally Mum would have turned exasperated and told us exactly who it was.

The hardest part was following the coffin into the chapel and when the curtains closed, the eyes were a tadge damp then. The service was nicely done, when the chap taking it said "Noreen was a lady who was always a pleasure to meet" he could add "and I can say that as someone who has known her since teenage years".

We didn't have a wake, we chatted to people and then I took Dad home for a cup of tea. As soon as we sat down it felt as if I was balloon and someone had let all the air out.

Dad is looking to the future which is good. After the service he was chatting to his brother in law, Dad said he had been thinking of buying a new car (his is a J reg) but with mum's illness had done nothing about it. Bill said go on do it so I've taken him down and bought one. Its brand new and comes with a 5 year guarantee. We'll pick it up Saturday week. I'm also going to book a couple of holidays. The last 8 months especially have been hard for him.

He'll keep himself busy, knowing Dad I expect to come home from work and find him having done something at my place. Ooh look the grass has been cut. I hope it is a dry summer so he can enjoy sitting in the garden.

I sort of drifted at times during the service, I remembered happy memories, kicking the ball over Three Horseshoes Hill when I was at Primary School, laughing at Dad as we sheltered from the rain at Killerton House. Dad loves the rain :D

I've shed a few tears but I know that Mum would never have got better and she loved life and would not have wanted to just exist.

Rest in peace Mum. You're always live in my heart.


Toffeeapple said...

I'm glad it's all over for you. Now you can get back to some kind of normality. Your Dad's attitude is to be commended; he doesn't know me, obviously, but please extend my regards to him, he sounds like a wonderful person.

And I wish you healing too. Big Hug.

oldcrow61 said...

Glad to hear that things went well. Sounds like your dad has a good attitude and that he likes to keep himself busy is also a good thing. Hugs.

Jan said...

Was thinking of you yesterday. Glad it was ok. The worst bit of my dad's funeral that I can remember was when those curtains close around the coffin.

Lovely your dad going out and getting a new car and that he's got himself together.

Anonymous said...

Funerals are hard, and so are family reunions. My father's funeral made me angry - there we were, struggling with our feelings, and all these people who never saw him from day to day turned up... some of them staying over in our house, which meant my sister and I lost our bedrooms to them. Couldn't even have our privacy.

It just made me angry - I've always been somewhat anti-funeral since then.

Sorry, I didn't mean to go on. :-). I hope you get your energy back soon.

st said...

I have travelled this road twice, I'm pleased it went well, I always found the hardest part were people who had not seen each other for years , enjoying each others company. When i was in the depths of despair.

Mary said...

I'm glad it went well Pete, and pleased you are able to write about it.My cousin and friend (just 6 months age difference between us) died on Monday from cancer and it all happened so fast..just three months from diagnosis to the end and I tried to write about it on my blog but in the end i gave up . It is just not the right time for me to talk. The Funeral is Monday so i hope we have better weather than today.

Dawn said...

I was thinking about you on Wednesday Pete. I'm glad you were ok with it. Sounds like your Dad is a coper, but it's bound to take time. Take care.