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Thursday, July 10, 2008

Should children be banned from weddings?

A couple are complaining because their children were asked to leave a wedding by the vicar for making too much noise. What makes this story particularly "amusing" is that the children's parents were the bride and groom.

Wedding planner Barry Long reckons that more and more couples are banning children from the weddings.

It's definitely become more prevalent. We do more than 200 weddings a year and the last seven were all saying 'no children'. I think it's because children are more disruptive than they used to be and brides are worried they will ruin their day.

It can get really bad and ruin the whole day and that's why I say to brides 'if you're going to do it, do it for everyone.

And I can attest to this. Many years my cousin C banned all children from her wedding except for the children who were bridesmaids. Another cousin J, and her mother, refused to attend the wedding because they were upset that their children were banned and anyway C had been a bridesmaid at J's wedding. I think various aunts and uncles didn't talk for a while.

Carol Richards of the website Confetti say some brides do get carried away, driven by the image of a "perfect" celebrity wedding.

It can split families and it's about respecting each other's wishes, which on an issue like this can be difficult. But you need to get it out in the open early so everyone knows where you stand. And be prepared for a rough ride.

I do find it all a bit odd, I can never understand these couples who spend thousands on a wedding. Yes they have a "perfect day" but then they find they have piles of debt. And may I say I find it a bit hypocritical when couples who NEVER attend church want a church wedding becuase she wants to wear a nice dress and be a princess - BLEURGH!

My friend Min probably thinks I'm anti-child but I do think weddings should be family occasions. But then this is probably just another part of something I've bemoaned on this blog before and that is the breakdown of the family unit. Although I might have some sympathy with the bride given that some parents think their little angel should be allowed to run around everywhere and irritate people who have nothing to with them.


Yoke said...

A belated Happy Birthday, Pete.

At our wedding in Eindhoven, a small affair in the city hall, we had two small boys, Francis' nephew's, which we had only just met, after we finally got into contact with his family after many years. They were fun, and the official reacted in a nicew way to the two kids. They had to be there; they had only now met their new uncle and auntie and besides we were staying at their house, staying in Holland from Ireland. It was at 9am, only us, two mothers, my mum's partner {who provided the breakfast champagne!} Francis's 2 sisters, and my cousin.
Only cost us £5, cause we were the first ones that day. And my Indian wedding dress only cost me £5 too. {out of which I have made a jacket and my bag as well}


Tricia said...

I think you've hit the nail on the head with "family" occasions and that is as it should be. Although I can understand why some brides/grooms would prefer not to have kids present.

I'm horrified at the behaviour of some children today; I know it sounds corny to say "I blame the parents" but in many instances it's the parent's lack of tuition of any type of social behavioural skills (or indeed behavioural skills per se) that adds to other bad "behaviours" of the modern child.

Will stop now or I'll be writing a book!!! (Oh - I do have two children myself)

Florida beach wedding said...

If you prefer no children at the wedding make sure to set an age limit of young people who will be accepted.

Joanna said...

It seems to me that there's a misunderstanding about what a wedding actually IS. It's the beginning of a new family, and, as such, children should be welcomed. That said, parents should be prepared to remove children who are badly behaved, or who are making a noise which disturbs others, such as during music (rather than congregational hymns). I have spent lots of time with young children exploring churchyards whilst missing parts of services of various kinds (I have four children), and I too am horrified at the way parents indulge their children, to the detriment of both society at large AND the individual children. Rant over. Also could write a book.

Joanna - PS happy birthday and many happy returns

Mo said...

I think the real problem is the lack of control parents exercise over their children these days. Nothing wrong with having children at weddings if they behave themselves.

Our former next door neighbours had an 8 year old who was obese and suffered from a lot of teasing at school. The mother told me once that daughter ate 3 packets of crisp a day but that she didn't like to stop her eating them!!!