A Polish man moved to the UK and married an English girl. Although his English was far from perfect, they got along very well until one day he rushed into a lawyer's office and asked him if he could arrange a divorce for him.
The lawyer said that getting a divorce would depend on the circumstances, and asked him the following questions:
Have you any grounds?
-Yes, an acre and half and nice little home.
No, I mean what is the foundation of this case?
- It made of concrete.
I don't think you understand. Do either of you have a real grudge?
- No, we have carport, and not need one.
I mean. What are your relations like?
- All my relations still in Poland
Is there any infidelity in your marriage?
- We have hi-fidelity stereo and good DVD player.
Does your wife beat you up?
- No, I am always up before her.
Why do you want this divorce?
-She going to kill me.
What makes you think that?
-I got proof.
What kind of proof?
- She going to poison me. She buy a bottle at drugstore and put on shelf in bathroom. I can read, and it say: