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Tuesday, July 31, 2007

BBQ's

We are about to enter the summer and BBQ season. Therefore it is important to refresh your memory on the etiquette of this sublime outdoor cooking activity, as it's the only type of cooking a 'real' man will do, probably because there is an element of danger involved.

When a man volunteers to do the BBQ the following chain of events are put into motion:

Routine...

(1) The woman buys the food.
(2) The woman makes the salad, prepares the vegetables, and makes dessert.
(3) The woman prepares the meat for cooking, places it on a tray along with
the necessary cooking utensils and sauces, and takes it to the man who is
lounging beside the grill - beer in hand.

Here comes the important part:

(4) THE MAN PLACES THE MEAT ON THE GRILL.

More routine....

(5) The woman goes inside to organize the plates and cutlery.
(6) The woman comes out to tell the man that the meat is burning. He thanks
her and asks if she will bring another beer while he deals with the
situation.

Important again:

(7) THE MAN TAKES THE MEAT OFF THE GRILL AND HANDS IT TO THE WOMAN.

More routine....

(8) The woman prepares the plates, salad, bread, utensils, napkins, sauces,
and brings them to the table.
(9) After eating, the woman clears the table and does the dishes.

And most important of all:
(10) Everyone PRAISES the MAN and THANKS HIM for his cooking efforts.
(11) The man asks the woman how she enjoyed 'her night off.' And, upon
seeing her annoyed reaction, concludes that there's just no pleasing some
women....

9 comments:

KAZ said...

All so True!
But you forgot that the woman also scrubs the rust off the BBQ with a wire brush before it can be used next time.

Jan said...

I should imagine that was written by a woman, and how very true, it brought back so many memories. I have the t-shirt.

stu_r said...

LOL. Thanks Pete made me smile.

Pete said...

stu - you're welcome

jan ;)

Kaz - yeah but the important stuff has finished :D

Anna said...

I BBQ. Since I don't trust any of the men who come to my barbecues to cook meat. Or anything else, for that matter.

I'd rather do it myself and get it cooked exactly how I want it and not risk food poisoning.

The men get me beer.

leazwell said...

You are gearing up for summer and it is winding down here...

Ocean said...

I am with Anna on the whole subject of barbecues.

oldcrow61 said...

Had a great chuckle, all true.

Cherrypie said...

I shall bring the sausages. What time shall we arrive?